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( musebox ) - | my body is special. closed.
22 August 2016 @ 04:14 pm
| my body is special. closed.
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[There's a distinct sway to her hips as they approach the house, as she steps out of his embrace and leads the way to the upstairs bathroom. Being told, with actions or words, that she's desirable -- it lifts up her ego, quiets the feeling that always lies beneath the surface when sex is partof the equation, the voice that says she's bad at this and so she'd better make it quick, better distract him, give him what he wants so he thinks she's better than she is and will stay with her for a little while longer.
(It's still there, and she still believes it, but it won't grow loud again til later. This part, the one where she can be playful, is easy enough, even though her heart is starting to speed up from the nerves.)
She meant it when she said she didn't want him near her with drying dog slobber on his face, so when they pass the bathroom door, she lets go of his hand and nods in the general direction of the sink.]
I'm getting some clothes. You wash your face first, muscle man.
(It's still there, and she still believes it, but it won't grow loud again til later. This part, the one where she can be playful, is easy enough, even though her heart is starting to speed up from the nerves.)
She meant it when she said she didn't want him near her with drying dog slobber on his face, so when they pass the bathroom door, she lets go of his hand and nods in the general direction of the sink.]
I'm getting some clothes. You wash your face first, muscle man.
( you know, Em? he can definitely agree to needing his face washed. he smells gross. and not in the just had a really awesome game way that leaves him sweaty and dirt-sodden. ) Yes, my lady. ( he lets go of her hip as Ray settles down outside the bathroom with a happy grumble and watches his- uh, what is Matt to a magical dog that follows him, anyway? -watches Matt head to the sink, where he soaps up and lathers his hands and face into something free of dog spit and fur.
once he's done with that, he'll be laying down a towel for them to step out on afterwards, turning on the shower and fiddling with the settings until he eventually finds something he likes.
... and shutting the door, because as much as he loves this damn dog, getting undressed in front of it is a bit weird.
it's still open, though. so Em can come in whenever. )
once he's done with that, he'll be laying down a towel for them to step out on afterwards, turning on the shower and fiddling with the settings until he eventually finds something he likes.
... and shutting the door, because as much as he loves this damn dog, getting undressed in front of it is a bit weird.
it's still open, though. so Em can come in whenever. )
[Meanwhile, Emily grabs a change of clothes and coaches herself through some deep, calming breaths. This is fine. This is going to be okay. It's just sex. It's Matt, who is so much nicer about it than Mike ever was. (Mike wasn't bad, per se, but he was suave where Matt is kind, and she never did feel fully comfortable with that.) It's not like it's the first time they've ever done it, even here. It is going to be fine. Quick and easy. No problem. She's in love, it'll be so good for them both, this is how it's supposed to be.
Ray lifts his head as she walks past him, and Emily actually hesitates a moment. What the fuck, Em. It's a magical dog. Why are you stopping.] Bite anyone who tries to get in, [she whispers to him finally, then knocks twice before slipping into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Goddamn. She'd missed the sight of Matt without a shirt.]
I would wolf whistle if I knew how. [As it stands, she smirks as she sets her clothes down somewhere they'll remain dry, and walks up to him.]
Ray lifts his head as she walks past him, and Emily actually hesitates a moment. What the fuck, Em. It's a magical dog. Why are you stopping.] Bite anyone who tries to get in, [she whispers to him finally, then knocks twice before slipping into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Goddamn. She'd missed the sight of Matt without a shirt.]
I would wolf whistle if I knew how. [As it stands, she smirks as she sets her clothes down somewhere they'll remain dry, and walks up to him.]
You put your lips together and you blow. ( yes, he's a dweeb. yes, that was terrible. yes, he kind of thinks it was hilarious. his own clothes are in a pile on the floor, under the sink because what is being neat (sorry, Em, he's a teenage boy forever), and he kicks his boxers blindly towards them as Em steps closer, his hands reaching for her waist.
he's gentle, because he's always gentle, even when he gets a bit wilder and crazier, when she's so damn hot that he all but forgets his own name, he treats her like precious metal or delicate fabric. wants to take in the feel of every part of her under his fingertips and take time at that, at memorising the curves and bumps of her body and the way she reacts to the trail of a finger down her spine or across her hips. ) Do you want to, ah, practice?
( Em, control this dork he's awful at being seductive. )
he's gentle, because he's always gentle, even when he gets a bit wilder and crazier, when she's so damn hot that he all but forgets his own name, he treats her like precious metal or delicate fabric. wants to take in the feel of every part of her under his fingertips and take time at that, at memorising the curves and bumps of her body and the way she reacts to the trail of a finger down her spine or across her hips. ) Do you want to, ah, practice?
( Em, control this dork he's awful at being seductive. )
[Matt pls that was so bad. On so many levels. Blowjobs aren't exactly complicated but god they gross her out, the thought of putting a dick in her mouth--]
Maybe after we shower. [She shuts her eyes, savoring his touch, and stepping closer to him. She's still in her underwear, the nicest ones she has in shithole cavetown, because she wasn't going to walk across the hall naked, and because she needs to ease into this, even when she wants it. Which she does. She wants Matt in every way, wants him to know she values him more than anything, wants him to forget that 'frigid' was an insult flung her way.
Don't think about it, she tells herself. She looks up at him from beneath lowered eyelashes and stands on her toes to give him a kiss, slow and sweet. There's so much lost time to make up for.]
Maybe after we shower. [She shuts her eyes, savoring his touch, and stepping closer to him. She's still in her underwear, the nicest ones she has in shithole cavetown, because she wasn't going to walk across the hall naked, and because she needs to ease into this, even when she wants it. Which she does. She wants Matt in every way, wants him to know she values him more than anything, wants him to forget that 'frigid' was an insult flung her way.
Don't think about it, she tells herself. She looks up at him from beneath lowered eyelashes and stands on her toes to give him a kiss, slow and sweet. There's so much lost time to make up for.]
( hey, he's a teenage boy. he's probably already forgotten it, let's be honest here. Matt laughs, equal parts sheepishness and joy, and his finger runs soft, almost ghosting across the line of her underwear. also, because he's a teenage boy, they could be the ultimate in granny panties and he'd still be happy.
but them being nice? something he's not gonna complain about, really. nor is he going to complain about the kiss, pressing back without ever going too far, his hand resting on the small of her back, tugging her just a little closer.
god, he wants her, every impatient, hormonal part of him wants to go faster, but she's so nice like this, all soft and pretty and sweet that more of him wants to take his time, like a really good dessert on your cheat day. (or your not cheat day, when coach has been an asshole and you just want ice cream instead of the prescribed diet that hangs on your mom's fridge.) he listens to the larger part of himself, keeps the kiss slow and gentle, lets the water run while they stand outside and simply feels her body pressed against his. )
but them being nice? something he's not gonna complain about, really. nor is he going to complain about the kiss, pressing back without ever going too far, his hand resting on the small of her back, tugging her just a little closer.
god, he wants her, every impatient, hormonal part of him wants to go faster, but she's so nice like this, all soft and pretty and sweet that more of him wants to take his time, like a really good dessert on your cheat day. (or your not cheat day, when coach has been an asshole and you just want ice cream instead of the prescribed diet that hangs on your mom's fridge.) he listens to the larger part of himself, keeps the kiss slow and gentle, lets the water run while they stand outside and simply feels her body pressed against his. )
[This is the Emily that no one else sees. In spite of the confidence she projects and the initiative she takes, she is warmer, less closed off -- and now, thanks to Hadriel, more devoted, more sure that Matt is who she wants to be with, in every respect. She lets his hand guide her til there's no space between them and she has to slide her hands up his chest and to the back of his neck.
There's a stupid joke somewhere about how the bathroom is getting steamier by the second, and not just because of the water. It's hot and nice here, enough that she knows the chills she's feeling are because of how he's touching her, a finger delicately tracing the edge of her admittedly substandard but perfectly functional underwear.]
Those can come off now, [she murmurs as she breaks away, going for a quick press of her lips to his before she pulls back, making a show of reaching back to unhook her bra. He can help her with that if he wants, or he can go for the panties. Either is good with her.]
There's a stupid joke somewhere about how the bathroom is getting steamier by the second, and not just because of the water. It's hot and nice here, enough that she knows the chills she's feeling are because of how he's touching her, a finger delicately tracing the edge of her admittedly substandard but perfectly functional underwear.]
Those can come off now, [she murmurs as she breaks away, going for a quick press of her lips to his before she pulls back, making a show of reaching back to unhook her bra. He can help her with that if he wants, or he can go for the panties. Either is good with her.]
( if he wasn't so distracted by her lips, by the way her skin feels, slightly damp from the steam that emanates from the shower, against his own, he'd probably make that joke.
but he is distracted. very distracted. so he's not making any jokes, instead letting his hands take stock of every last part of her he can reach. she's smaller - thinner - than before, the evidence of months down in this cave, and while it's been little time for him, for her this must be something different. he must be rediscovering her body, a thirsty man finding water in the desert. (this is still true, even if it's only been a matter of days for him since they last.
well, you know.) )
Yeah? ( he could take off those panties, but maybe he wants to take some time with this. maybe, instead, he's going to help her with the straps of her bra, his head bowing slightly, lips dipping into the curve of her jaw and down her neck as he helps that bra find its way to the floor. )
but he is distracted. very distracted. so he's not making any jokes, instead letting his hands take stock of every last part of her he can reach. she's smaller - thinner - than before, the evidence of months down in this cave, and while it's been little time for him, for her this must be something different. he must be rediscovering her body, a thirsty man finding water in the desert. (this is still true, even if it's only been a matter of days for him since they last.
well, you know.) )
Yeah? ( he could take off those panties, but maybe he wants to take some time with this. maybe, instead, he's going to help her with the straps of her bra, his head bowing slightly, lips dipping into the curve of her jaw and down her neck as he helps that bra find its way to the floor. )
[Emily is not opposed to going slow. Everything is in sharp focus, and no distraction is too much to change that, not yet. She remembers the details of his body, his skin, the scars from his childhood or nastier football injuries, or even the stupidest cuts and scrapes. She looks for them all now, as she slides her hands up his arms (strong and gentle, like he is) and to his shoulders once her bra is off, her head tipped back so he can explore her skin at his leisure.
The artificially humid air is the closest to home they're going to get, and that makes this better, strips away the fact that they're entire worlds away, that they spent so long apart, that for her it was months and all she wanted was this, to feel his breath on her moistened skin, to have the taste of him on her lips. She presses the pads of her fingers into his shoulders, aware of where her bra fell on the floor, wanting to kick it somewhere else, telling herself to shut up and only think about Matt right now.
She missed him so much. She's said as much to him already.
She says it again, a whisper he can only hear because he's so close.] I missed you so much.
The artificially humid air is the closest to home they're going to get, and that makes this better, strips away the fact that they're entire worlds away, that they spent so long apart, that for her it was months and all she wanted was this, to feel his breath on her moistened skin, to have the taste of him on her lips. She presses the pads of her fingers into his shoulders, aware of where her bra fell on the floor, wanting to kick it somewhere else, telling herself to shut up and only think about Matt right now.
She missed him so much. She's said as much to him already.
She says it again, a whisper he can only hear because he's so close.] I missed you so much.
I know. ( it's weird, because he can't say it back. because he was with her up until the very second he arrived here and when he did, she'd been here for months, by the sounds of it.
it's confusing, and thinking about it too long gives him a headache, so he won't. instead, he's going to think about emily and how she makes him feel. how the sensation of her skin against his lips, his fingers, his own skin, is soft and wonderful and everything he'd been trying to get while on the mountain.
(okay, steamy shower sex? WAY better than cold mountain sex. let's just agree on that now.)
but it isn't like it was on the mountain. this is far less playful, far more serious, and that's strange too, because it's only been a few weeks for him, because it feels - sometimes - as if he's now in a relationship he never got to have (which is the case in some ways, he guesses) and left playing catch up with all the realisations and this defrosting Emily he never got to experience.
he's good at playing the game, though. good at giving games his all and finding a way to come out on top. (hey, he didn't get voted most likely to play in the NFL for nothing, you know.) so he can do less playful, can be sweet and earnest and all the things he is like he would have eventually, anyway. )
You're really hot.
( and, among those things? bad at words. :| at least he's taking his time exploring her neck with his lips? )
it's confusing, and thinking about it too long gives him a headache, so he won't. instead, he's going to think about emily and how she makes him feel. how the sensation of her skin against his lips, his fingers, his own skin, is soft and wonderful and everything he'd been trying to get while on the mountain.
(okay, steamy shower sex? WAY better than cold mountain sex. let's just agree on that now.)
but it isn't like it was on the mountain. this is far less playful, far more serious, and that's strange too, because it's only been a few weeks for him, because it feels - sometimes - as if he's now in a relationship he never got to have (which is the case in some ways, he guesses) and left playing catch up with all the realisations and this defrosting Emily he never got to experience.
he's good at playing the game, though. good at giving games his all and finding a way to come out on top. (hey, he didn't get voted most likely to play in the NFL for nothing, you know.) so he can do less playful, can be sweet and earnest and all the things he is like he would have eventually, anyway. )
You're really hot.
( and, among those things? bad at words. :| at least he's taking his time exploring her neck with his lips? )
[Here's a secret, Matt: Emily isn't half as good at words as she pretends to be, not in moments like this, when she's vulnerable and there's nothing to hide behind.
She doesn't want to hide from him anymore, though. Not her body, not her heart, not when it'd be all too easy for the Door to rip them apart again, to make the passage of time even weirder. (She's sorry he's missed so much, doesn't think it's fair that she's realized in these past several months that she's in love with him, while he's pretty much only just left the mountain, that awful February weekend where their mistake came to bite them in the ass.)
It doesn't matter if he's not the world's best with words. There's no doubt in her mind about how he feels, his kisses speaking for him where he can't think of what to say. The part of her that would've replied to that compliment with I know is quiet now, because she's not playing a part. She's being honest. She doesn't know how he can say that, but she's not going to let that bring her down when, for a few precious seconds, she isn't thinking of anything but him.
(How does he do that? Pull her out of her own head, make her feel safe enough to live in the moment for a little at a time.)]
You make me hot.
[It's true. She's already feeling the slow burn in the pit of her stomach.
She drags her fingers up his neck and into his hair, loosely grasping his curls to keep herself steady as his lips tease her skin.] That's so good, hon.
Edited (self you ned to close those parens) 2016-09-05 05:17 pm (UTC)
She doesn't want to hide from him anymore, though. Not her body, not her heart, not when it'd be all too easy for the Door to rip them apart again, to make the passage of time even weirder. (She's sorry he's missed so much, doesn't think it's fair that she's realized in these past several months that she's in love with him, while he's pretty much only just left the mountain, that awful February weekend where their mistake came to bite them in the ass.)
It doesn't matter if he's not the world's best with words. There's no doubt in her mind about how he feels, his kisses speaking for him where he can't think of what to say. The part of her that would've replied to that compliment with I know is quiet now, because she's not playing a part. She's being honest. She doesn't know how he can say that, but she's not going to let that bring her down when, for a few precious seconds, she isn't thinking of anything but him.
(How does he do that? Pull her out of her own head, make her feel safe enough to live in the moment for a little at a time.)]
You make me hot.
[It's true. She's already feeling the slow burn in the pit of her stomach.
She drags her fingers up his neck and into his hair, loosely grasping his curls to keep herself steady as his lips tease her skin.] That's so good, hon.
Edited (self you ned to close those parens) 2016-09-05 05:17 pm (UTC)
( he isn't sure he really gets the whole Door thing - it landed them here, but they can't leave unless it feels like it. whatever that means. he hasn't had to someone he cares about through it, yet. hasn't had to live through any of the things Em, even Chris, has had to here.
so Matt's trying to take everything one step at a time, to not think too much (and some might say he never does think too much, or hardly at all, but they'd be wrong - his thoughts just run away from textbooks, most of the time) and simply enjoy what he can. (no Psycho on the mountain, no dead Josh, no weird, uncomfortable reunion on the mountain where it happened... there's a lot to be thankful for here). enjoy Em and the privacy they've got in this bathroom for the next however long.
her hand in his hair - it's already beginning to grow out, just a bit, in the weeks since being here (not enough that you could tell by looking, but he can feel it in the way her fingers dig in, there's a depth starting there that wasn't before) - has him gasping against her shoulder; a little, quiet thing that's barely heard over the shower running and his hands run down her sides - firm but still gentle, still so light they almost glide their way to her panties. )
Mmm, d'you wanna step in?
( he'd like to, but-
well, it's always up to Emily in the end. )
so Matt's trying to take everything one step at a time, to not think too much (and some might say he never does think too much, or hardly at all, but they'd be wrong - his thoughts just run away from textbooks, most of the time) and simply enjoy what he can. (no Psycho on the mountain, no dead Josh, no weird, uncomfortable reunion on the mountain where it happened... there's a lot to be thankful for here). enjoy Em and the privacy they've got in this bathroom for the next however long.
her hand in his hair - it's already beginning to grow out, just a bit, in the weeks since being here (not enough that you could tell by looking, but he can feel it in the way her fingers dig in, there's a depth starting there that wasn't before) - has him gasping against her shoulder; a little, quiet thing that's barely heard over the shower running and his hands run down her sides - firm but still gentle, still so light they almost glide their way to her panties. )
Mmm, d'you wanna step in?
( he'd like to, but-
well, it's always up to Emily in the end. )
[It's always so satisfying when something she does makes Matt react like that. Emily doesn't so much hear him gasp as she feels his breath on her skin. She might've done more than smile, proud and pleased, if not for his hands settling on her hips and the question that's both invite and request.
Leaning her head against his, she shuts her eyes and whispers her response.] Yeah. [And since she's there anyway, she grazes his ear with her lips, a light brush of contact that she wants more of already.
First, though, she takes a small step back, and places her hands over his, meeting his gaze as she starts to tug the fabric down, slow and sensual and a little bit playful. He deserves as much, he deserves more than, and she's only too happy to give him a little show.]
Leaning her head against his, she shuts her eyes and whispers her response.] Yeah. [And since she's there anyway, she grazes his ear with her lips, a light brush of contact that she wants more of already.
First, though, she takes a small step back, and places her hands over his, meeting his gaze as she starts to tug the fabric down, slow and sensual and a little bit playful. He deserves as much, he deserves more than, and she's only too happy to give him a little show.]
( he's easy to please, Em. a show is more than enough and that is obvious in his face, in the flush of heat that crawls through his body (even more than it did already). his eyes flick up and down over her body, drinking everything in - the curves, the scar that lies there from her encounter with a monster that exists in their very own world - and he clears his throat, unfurling his fingers from the fabric of her panties as they drop to the floor, wrapping his hands around her hips and tugging her towards the shower.
it is definitely warmed up by now. definitely. )
it is definitely warmed up by now. definitely. )
[That fact doesn't make this any easier for her. There's always that sliver of doubt that she's going to do something wrong, even knowing Matt has never been unhappy with her. So every little gasp and sigh is confirmation that she's doing okay.
Sliding her hands up his chest, she lets him lead her into the shower, where the steamy air feels good on her skin, and the water starts to soothe the tension of a day in shithole cavetown out of her muscles. Emily lets that sensation flow through her, as if melting her ice queen persona, and leans heavily against Matt. Her lips are about level with her collarbone, so that's where she kisses him, below the bone, working her way slowly in from his shoulder. She tries to outrun the voice that says she's bad at this, that she's going to lose him eventually, even as she keeps this slow and steady.]
Sliding her hands up his chest, she lets him lead her into the shower, where the steamy air feels good on her skin, and the water starts to soothe the tension of a day in shithole cavetown out of her muscles. Emily lets that sensation flow through her, as if melting her ice queen persona, and leans heavily against Matt. Her lips are about level with her collarbone, so that's where she kisses him, below the bone, working her way slowly in from his shoulder. She tries to outrun the voice that says she's bad at this, that she's going to lose him eventually, even as she keeps this slow and steady.]
( a couple of weeks in this place has been enough to confirm that you never feel properly clean down here. the air is too stuffy, too artificial, and the cave always seems to kick up dust and dirt onto your skin with the half-crumbled buildings and abandoned rooms. now, Matt isn't as concerned about cleanliness and hygeine as Emily is - if he was, he'd be the worst football player, let's be real here - but he appreciates a good shower, appreciates it even more in this place.
(appreciates it the most when it's accompanied by Emily's body against his, her lips trailing across his collarbone and bursting goosebumps across his flesh, ones that have nothing to do with the sudden spray of warm water against his back, down his scalp.
that is nowhere near as nice as this.)
he can't resist the path his hands take, sliding from her hips up to her chest, all his self-control given over to lightly tracing the outline of her breasts rather than being a boy about it and going directly for the grope.
Emily deserves more than a boy, after all. but his touch can still be clumsy, sometimes, when her lips brush against the sensitive hollows of his neck, and slip a bit too hard, flick a bit too quickly against her nipples. )
(appreciates it the most when it's accompanied by Emily's body against his, her lips trailing across his collarbone and bursting goosebumps across his flesh, ones that have nothing to do with the sudden spray of warm water against his back, down his scalp.
that is nowhere near as nice as this.)
he can't resist the path his hands take, sliding from her hips up to her chest, all his self-control given over to lightly tracing the outline of her breasts rather than being a boy about it and going directly for the grope.
Emily deserves more than a boy, after all. but his touch can still be clumsy, sometimes, when her lips brush against the sensitive hollows of his neck, and slip a bit too hard, flick a bit too quickly against her nipples. )
[At first, Emily was fussy about the dirt and dust that collects on a person here, the way the air seems to help cake the sweat on her skin if it's warm out or she's been moving around too much. In all these months, she has relented a little, let the cave take yet another thing from her, but damn right if she's still probably the fussiest person in the house as far as cleanliness goes. So for her, right now, the fact that Matt washed off the dog slobber is good enough. (Before, she would've made him shower completely before getting close to him, but she figures that the fur and the rest of the slobber is on his clothes, which are now ont he floor and far away from them both.)
She's kissing drops of water off his skin the first time it happens, a jerky touch of a rougher brush of a finger. Emily isn't ticklish, just sensitive. Her breath catches, and she shivers.
And then she laughs, a short and quiet sound that's probably lost amid the water falling on them.] Easy. [She breathes the word against his chest (she could stay like this forever), leaving another kiss there before she pulls back to look at him. She's torn between wanting them to take their time with this and wanting to make the most of the time they have because god only knows how long before something tries to tear them apart.
Her hands trail down to his hips, along well defined muscles that will only get stronger here, where there's nearly no junk food and so much walking and running to do. Heat stirs in her, as clear as it is uncommon.] Don't stop. [She says it in a whisper, but the intent is loud and clear. The nerves have gone silent for now, and she is letting herself enjoy the freedom.]
Edited 2016-09-13 03:05 pm (UTC)
She's kissing drops of water off his skin the first time it happens, a jerky touch of a rougher brush of a finger. Emily isn't ticklish, just sensitive. Her breath catches, and she shivers.
And then she laughs, a short and quiet sound that's probably lost amid the water falling on them.] Easy. [She breathes the word against his chest (she could stay like this forever), leaving another kiss there before she pulls back to look at him. She's torn between wanting them to take their time with this and wanting to make the most of the time they have because god only knows how long before something tries to tear them apart.
Her hands trail down to his hips, along well defined muscles that will only get stronger here, where there's nearly no junk food and so much walking and running to do. Heat stirs in her, as clear as it is uncommon.] Don't stop. [She says it in a whisper, but the intent is loud and clear. The nerves have gone silent for now, and she is letting herself enjoy the freedom.]
Edited 2016-09-13 03:05 pm (UTC)